Every now and again, I’ll meet someone who wants to exchange contact information and add the phrase “Just to let you know, I’m a bad texter” which made me think, can someone be bad at texting? I mean, the whole point of this technological age is that people are more connected. What does it even mean to be a bad texter? For me, I think there are all different types of texters that can be “bad.” So in this post, I’ll talk about how I’ve dealt with bad texters and how a perspective change can help you see your relationships with other people in a better light.
Texters Who Leave Their Phone Unlocked
Some people have told me that they leave their phones unlocked on the side causing a phone to send read receipts and remove the notification. In this situation, the texter ends up forgetting that they were in a conversation and since the notification isn’t shown, there’s nothing to remind them unless another message is sent or they happen to remember. Is this person a bad texter? Not really, they just have a bad habit that causes them to have bad response times. If you do this or want to help someone fix this, a helpful tip would be to link the phone to a computer or any other device. This increases the number of reminders someone gets and combats forgetfulness.
Texters Who Respond Late
In my opinion, responding to a text late, so much that it’s a habit, is another way for people to say they prioritize different people. I’ve heard lots of explanations like they don’t check their phone a lot or they forget to message back, but it doesn’t make any sense when they respond to other friends or even family members in a timely manner. The trait becomes less believable when I think about how often people naturally check their phones or digital watches.
For these types of texters, I would say that the best way to handle this is to either be okay with the idea that I’m not as high of a priority in their life or to ask for clarity on where I stand with them. Everybody deals with their own issues, and it’s important to remember that I may be a lower priority in their minds because they are dealing with challenges in their life. Sometimes, the lack of priority has nothing to do with who I am.
Bad Texters Aren’t Bad People
If you have fallen into the bucket of people that are left on read or not being responded to like me, you probably understand the sour taste of inattentiveness. When I was younger, I would think of thoughts like, “Why won’t they respond to me?” or “Are they ignoring me?” After dealing with several interactions like this, I learned that these questions stemmed from insecurities I had. The truth was that people were simply going about their own lives and not thinking much of a not-so-pressing conversation. So what did I do about this? How did I stop myself from feeling this way?
One thing I did was that I reminded myself that the world doesn’t revolve around me. Everyone has their own world with their own symbolic planetary system, and it’s common decency to give people the space and respect to deal with the things in their life. It’s important to give them the space they need so that if they do come back, they come back to a conversation that’s a positive experience for both parties.
Another thing I did was I thought about what the person might be doing. Sometimes, I would find out through social media that they were out doing something, and instead of thinking “Oh, how come they could post on social media, but they can’t respond to my message.” I started thinking “Oh, they’re outside, they’ll be busy for a while and won’t respond until later.” These people aren’t being spiteful, they’re just living their lives. It’s important to know that they aren’t being rude.
Am I Being Ignored?
What if they are being rude? What if you know for a fact that they’re ignoring you or that they’re being spiteful? Well in those cases, I recommend clearing the air. Talk to them in person and figure out what the issues are. It’s easier to get an answer and start moving forward whether the issue is resolved or not than to talk with parties that aren’t involved in the conversation and aren’t the person who is being spiteful. At the end of the day, the only way to know is to speak with them.
A question I would get at this point is “Why would I do that? Isn’t it up to them to fix it?” If I mess up, maybe, but it’s 100% up to me to deal with my emotions and thoughts. If I’m feeling mental stress or pain, how I deal with it is up to me. How I get closure on an issue is also up to me. In my opinion, I don’t think anyone can ever get closure or proper clarification by talking about things with people who aren’t involved. For me, it’s just too hard to know what the other person is thinking by theorizing.
Bad Texters Don’t Define Your Importance
Yes! Exactly the heading. Before I end this post, I want to give a reminder that you are important. In the land of misunderstandings, intrusive negative thoughts slipped into my head when I was younger, and I would think that I’m not important enough to be responded to. Elderly people have even expressed to me that they felt disrespected when they weren’t responded to.
For anyone reading this, a text doesn’t define your worth. People care about you and what you have to say. If it doesn’t feel that way, let them know. If you make them aware of how you’re feeling and they don’t listen, then find people who respect you enough to at least listen. The best thing about this day and age is that you aren’t bound to talk to people who are physically around you. There’s a person somewhere in the world who’s willing to hear you out including me.
Post At A Glance
Hello hello! It’s been a while since I posted! I’m actually in the middle of a move which is why I’m behind on my writing, but I haven’t forgotten about this blog. Thank you for reading my post, I hope you enjoyed it! Talking about mental awareness and relationship building has always been something I wanted to share so I hope it helps you regardless of what your situation is. If you would like to reach out to me, please feel free to leave a comment or send an email to me. I’m always here to listen and help! Without further ado, here’s a key takeaway from the post!
I reminded myself that the world doesn’t revolve around me. Everyone has their own world with their own symbolic planetary system, and it’s common decency to give people the space and respect to deal with the things in their life. It’s important to give them the space they need so that if they do come back, they come back to a conversation that’s a positive experience for both parties.
– Joemer