Wow, I haven’t posted a new blog in quite some time! I know, I know. You’ve missed me, haha just kidding. For the past month or two, I’ve been planning on moving to New York City from Washington, D.C., and last week I finally did it. I rented a U-Haul van, packed all my stuff with my partner, drove a van for 5 hours for the first time in my life, and got here safely! After unpacking all my boxes and settling in, I felt happy to be back but had slight trouble living with my family again.
Not because families can be complicated at times, but because I didn’t acclimate to an environment I wasn’t used to. Now that I’m a week into my new yet past lifestyle, I want to share my experience. The goal isn’t necessarily to give a solution since everybody acclimates in their own way, but, hopefully, by the end of the reading, you can feel like you aren’t alone in the process.
Life Before The Move
In D.C., I lived alone in an apartment. There was no one to cook food for me, buy groceries or help throw out the garbage. It was liberating to do anything I wanted when I wanted, but it took a lot of time out of my day. I worked a normal 9 to 5 schedule so by the time I got back home from the office, it would be 5:30 pm.
I would destress for about an hour and then get ready for dinner. By the time I finished cooking and eating, it would be maybe 8 pm or 9 pm, and I would have 2 hours left in my day before I would go to sleep. During those hours, I would play video games, go to the gym, or talk with friends and family. This would be my routine on weekdays.
On the weekends, I would have more free time and spend my time writing, drawing, spending time with people, or trying out a new food place. Overall, I had the standard lifestyle of someone who would live alone in a new city. It helped me mature in several aspects as everyday responsibilities became more apparent, and it allowed me to have time away from my world in NYC which was filled with so much history and relationships.
Life After Moving
When I moved to NYC, I felt like my transition to my past lifestyle was really fast. I went from living alone to being around friends and family. Weekdays were busy with work, and weekends were filled with activities. Sounds fun right? To a degree, it is, but I think it’s just as overwhelming. I thought I would get used to New York’s fast pace since I spent years here, but I think I couldn’t acclimate easily because I became a different person.
In the past, I always thought about what I needed to do next. I would always be in a hurry. I believe that part of the reason for this is that I was so eager to have better financial stability so I kept pushing forward without thinking. My main focus was on self-development. So when I got a better job, I wanted to slow down my thinking and spend more time with friends and family. After about 2 weeks of spending time with loved ones, I found myself feeling frustrated. A part of me wanted to keep moving forward and continue to improve myself, but I didn’t know how to balance my time between relationships and time for myself.
How To Balance Time Between Others And Myself
From a first-hand perspective, I can tell you that this choice became more challenging as I started having priorities that lowered the amount of free time that I have. This can be school, chores, responsibilities, or by having a classic 9 to 5 job. Usually, when we spend time with other people, we aren’t necessarily spending the time to better ourselves. Even in a library study group, we tend to get distracted and not focus as much as if we studied by ourselves. So should we just study by ourselves all the time? Well, no. If we studied by ourselves all the time, the task would be more dreadful than it already is. Instead, I ask myself two questions.
Questions That Help Decide How To Spend Your Time
The first one, which aims to help me focus on myself, is “Am I accomplishing my goal?” This question helps me ponder about my goals and what is obstructing me from achieving them if I haven’t done so yet. It helps solidify thoughts that were floating in my head and consolidates a solid opinion for myself that I could take action on. If the answer is yes, I can change my agenda. If the answer is no, I try to realize that saying no means that what I’m currently doing isn’t working and something needs to change.
The second question, which helps me lean into destressing and spending time with others, is “What am I doing this week?” By asking myself this question, I’m able to get a rough understanding of where I’m allotting time and if I’m devoting too much time to myself. One thought I had was “Well, what’s wrong with working on yourself every day?” Fundamentally, there’s nothing wrong with pushing myself every day, but living like this brought me into a lifestyle that is prone to burning out, feeling overwhelmed, and, most importantly, alone.
The Benefit of Spending Time with Others
Everybody deserves a day or two to relax. Even exercise regiments give a day or two to allow muscles to recover. In general, I believe that too much of one thing is never a good thing. Life is filled with so many different aspects that it would be sad to experience a one-dimensional world. And when you experience life with other people, life becomes a lot more colorful and enjoyable. In this regard, I like to imagine life like a stained glass painting. Working on ourselves creates the frame, and the stained glass pieces are the experiences we have with other people.
Spending time with others allows us to collect and put more pieces of stained glass in our frames. At the same time, we can’t stack stained glass pieces and expect them to stand straight without toppling. I shouldn’t travel to a foreign country, head to the clubs, or go to dinners every weekend if I’m struggling in a financial, physical, or mental way where I can’t fully enjoy the experience. This brings me to a third question that could help in making these decisions.
What’s The Best Choice For Me?
Yes!! Everybody’s opinions matter, but our own opinion is the most important! Sometimes, even if we aren’t achieving goals within a certain time frame or want to stay in the comfort of our homes for the next 3 months, we should choose the option that makes us the happiest. “Great, I’m happy as I am right now Joemer, thanks!” Well, I said happiest.
So I ask myself, am I the happiest I can be? It’s easy to have short-term happiness, but emotions are constantly fleeting. I believe that one way to combat this is to consistently choose the choices that make me the happiest. This way, my life can be filled with fewer regrets and hopefully happier memories whether I’m by myself or with other people.
Post At A Glance
Hello hello! It’s been about a month since I posted! I’m so happy to be back and writing. Thank you for reading my post, I hope you enjoyed it! Transitions can be hard, but they aren’t impossible! Try your best to stay positive and balance your time properly. Everything will work out. Without further ado, here’s a key takeaway from the post!
Life is filled with so many different aspects that it would be sad to experience a one-dimensional world. And when you experience life with other people, life becomes a lot more colorful and enjoyable.
– Joemer
See more posts on the home page!